Quality not quantity
Being a nanny I have noticed that parents can sometimes feel guilty about the amount of time they spend with their children. Whether or not the parent/s work one day a week or 7, the time spent apart from your child doesn’t matter as much as the time spent with your child. In saying that, my intention isn’t to offend any parents out there. I have a different perspective on things. As involved as I am with the family and child/children I work with, I still have an objective view. What I see is my own opinion and it is an opinion that stems from many years of being a hands on nanny. Families I have worked for may have been absent for varying periods of time, however the children all knew love and care differed from myself and that of their parents. I love all the children I have cared for and they knew this, but they also knew the difference between my time and mummy or daddy’s time. The bond they share cannot be measured by time alone, more importantly, it was the time shared together that mattered.
I feel, if you as the parent, are 100% focused on what your child is saying and doing when they are talking to you or showing you something then you are accomplishing a very important step in being a successful parent. Know the difference between listening and hearing. I have been guilty of this act myself on occasions. When your child says “you never play with me” (irrespective of the hour long game of twister or superheroes/princess party fantasy you just played), it is important to acknowledge these feelings. Do not reply with “but we just played for an hour!” Real time is irrelevant to a child. The age old saying “the more you give the more they want” is especially true when raising kids and it is not selfishness, it is simply love. A better response would be “I know it feels like we don’t have enough playtime together, let me do some work now (or whatever it is that you need to get done), then we can make a time for play”. Schedule it in if that helps, as long as there is a plan in place, your child will feel better and know that you have listened. Usually, if a child does not get these quality moments of real play and acknowledgement of their feelings then they act out. They act out for so many reasons it’s hard as a parent and nanny to keep up and recognise the difference, but what I am trying to communicate here is a way to minimise the bad behaviour and the frequency of it.